Morgan Kelly on the Irish Credit Bubble..

Anyone who wants to understand what's going on here in Ireland should read this paper by Economist Morgan Kelly. A Quote:

Since the seventeenth century, financial innovation has consisted in banks finding new ways to lose money. However, while US, UK and European banks lost money in exotic derivatives, Irish banks lost money the old fashioned way, by making bad property loans.

Mother's Day Warning for expatriates

Folks,

Did you know that Mother's Day changes depending on what country you are in? Last Sunday was Mother's Day here in Ireland. In the US it will be May 9th this year.

It took me a long time to figure this out after I moved to the US. I could never understand why my Mother would barely be speaking to me between the end of March and the US version of Mother's day...

Note also: This web site is wrong.

"Spirit Of Ireland" - Coming to a Valley near you?

"Flooded valleys key to huge power plan"

It's not often you see a newspaper headline with such amazing potential to induce panic. But Frank McDonald, the IT's environment editor has succeeded with today's unquestioning puff piece about "Spirit Of Ireland", a suspiciously named scheme to make Ireland an exporter of energy. The piece immediately grabs ones attention by implying this is government policy:

PLANS TO build a new electricity generating system, combining large-scale wind farms with huge hydro-power storage reservoirs in valleys on the west coast, are at an advanced stage, The Irish Times has learned.

“Spirit of Ireland”, billed as a national project for energy independence, has been under discussion for several months with the Department of Communications, Energy and Natural Resources, as well as other agencies.

It would involve identifying up to five coastal valleys from counties Donegal to Cork, building dams on their seaward side and flooding them with sea water. These would provide a hydro-power back-up for the wind farms.

Obviously this story is of considerable interest to anyone who lives in a coastal valley and doesn't own scuba gear.....But it gets better:

Fifty potential sites along the west coast were identified, but he said many of these were not suitable for environmental or geological reasons. “We’ve now reduced the number of sites to 10, of which five will be studied in micro-detail,” he added.

The bowl-shaped valleys, created during the Ice Age, are located in areas with some of the best wind conditions in Ireland.

“Many are in areas of low population density, where land is of marginal or no use for farming,”the project’s website says.

Presumably the population density will drop to zero and agriculture will cease once the place is flooded? Given that people's homes and quite possibly entire communities are going to be destroyed the obvious question is "Which Valley?":

Dr O’Donnell said he was not in a position at this stage to reveal which were the most likely locations. “There’s an enormous amount of geological investigation and mapping involved, and we have a total of 18 teams of people working on the project.”

Not to mention such issues as Property Rights, Human Rights and the wisdom of holding vast quantities of seawater inland where it can get into the water table. Or the number of turbines required - one estimate is the entire western seaboard saturated with windmills to a depth of 10KM..... Or how this is supposed to happen in a country where you can't run a gas pipeline 10Km without having to deal with violent and illegal protests...

An alternative to "PIGS"...

Down at the IT today a Mr. O'Connor is unhappy with the use of the term PIGS to described troubled eurozone countries:

Madam, – Why does the Irish media insist on using the ridiculous and insulting “P-I-G-S” acronym in its financial reports, when referring to Portugal, Ireland, Greece and Spain? The term has been actively denounced by the Portuguese and Spanish press, and perhaps we should follow suit.

It seems the acronym is more aptly suited to the British and American bond and currency traders who coined the term. – Yours, etc,

JOSEPH O’CONNOR,

Ashtown,

Dublin 15.

So here's my suggested alternative:

Madam,

People who think the term "PIGS" shouldn't be used clearly haven't considered that any alternative could be much worse. If Britain's finances deteriorate to the point where it qualifies for membership of "PIGS" we might see a new acronym coined - "Fringe Europeans who Can't Keep their Economies Running Sustainably".

David Rolfe

David Fennessy 's Bodies: A Haunting and Iconclastic commentary on taxpayer funded art.

I don't normally do classical music reviews, but after surviving the premiere of David Fennessy's aptly named new work 'Bodies' feel I have to. I have to wonder how much RTE knew about the piece before it was premiered - One imagines the conversation would have run like this:

The scene: An office at RTE headquarters. Mr Fennessy is explaining his
latest project to his sponsor.....

RTE: So how's it going ?

Composer: Great! I'm just putting the finishing touches now. I've added a selection of Japanese gongs to go with the Harp.

RTE: But don't you also have 8 double bases?

Composer: Yes - there's no point in doing anything by halves. Actually I think 8 is a minimum....

RTE: A Minimum? Won't it be a little ... basey?

Composer: Not really - the double bases are needed to balance the augmented percussion section in the room next door to the stage.

RTE: What?

Composer: The extra percussionists. They'll be in a room next to the auditorium and will be playing as well.

RTE: Ummm, won't that confuse the audience? Isn't one of the unwritten rules of Classical Music that all the people playing the music be in the same location as the audience? And the conductor for that matter?

Composer: But rules are made to be broken! Having all the orchestra actually in the orchestral venue is a pointless tradition that has long outlived its usefulness. With the piece I've moved beyond melody and harmony. They weren't adding anything. Not only that, I've eliminated the ludicrous requirement that the instruments complement each other when played. At one point I even have the Harp, the Japanese gongs, all eight double bases and the percussion section in the next room all going at once!

RTE: Isn't there anything conventional about this piece?

Composer: Well, at the very end the string section suddenly breaks away and starts playing harmoniously for about thirty seconds. It's a doomed yet beautiful act. Sort of a musical equivalent of the Warsaw Uprising. Then the piece ends.

RTE: So let's get this right - we've given you licence payer's money and you've written this?

Composer: Yes. Actually we'll need a bit more cash. Some of the musicians are demanding Danger Money to play it. They are concerned about the audience reaction.

RTE: But no normal person is going to want to listen to this...

Composer: So it'll fit well with your other stuff then?

RTE: Hmmm.. We do Property Porn, Reality TV shows about people who don't drink, Reality TV about schools nobody cares about, startlingly predictable current affairs programs...Yes, I can see a fit...

The above conversation may not have taken place but I swear to god the music is as described. If you don't believe you can see an interview of Fennessy on YouTube where he freely admits all this. Except the bit about danger money....

Those canny Northern Businessmen...

You couldn't make this stuff up - would be 'Leader of Industry' and lover of Iris Robinson had this to say about his business venture:

"All I was thinking about was getting the business up and running. Where the money came from never entered my head. The council gave me the cafe for the first couple of months after I opened but this is standard practice for any new business. "

Yeah I know - what sane businessman would worry his head over (a) where his capital came from (b) what strings came attached and (c) when the owner would want it back....

DR

Guns in the US

The IT had the now obligatory "aren't-those-yanks-dreadful-for-owning-guns" editorial last Saturday:

THE TRAGIC shootings in Fort Hood, Texas, have drawn attention again to the frightening availability of guns in the US – a staggering 97 guns for every 100 people. Although the killings took place on an army base, neither of the pistols used were army-issue. And the state of Texas, ranked 27th by a gun control lobby group in terms of the ease with which guns can be bought, has no requirement that handgun buyers obtain a licence or undergo any type of safety training. Police do not know how many guns are in the state or where they are.

I sent the IT a letter, which they didn't publish:

Madam,

Your editorial which criticised US gun laws overlooked a rather serious flaw in the law relating to firearms in Ireland. While ownership of a handful of guns is illegal, importing a boatload to equip a private army on a twenty year rampage of murder, mayhem and maiming will in practice be retrospectively legalised the moment you publicly announce your intention to stop.

Not only will you not be prosecuted but you will instead be thanked for your contribution to the bizarrely named 'peace process' and invited to participate in constitutional politics.